What Happens When You Stop Going To Every Birthday

When you stop going to every birthday, you lose some invitations and you gain a calendar that can breathe. The people who only loved your presence as a contribution will announce that you changed.

Filipino life is a chain of events with envelopes. A man with a small sahod cannot be a guest at all of them and still be a father at home.

Is skipping a birthday rude?

Sometimes. Send a message. Send what you can if you promised. Do not ghost. Rude is disappearing. Adult is choosing.

What will people say?

That you are mayaman na, or kuripot, or under sa asawa. Let them finish. Then go home. This journal at thefilipinomen.com is for the man who can survive being misunderstood by a group chat.

How do you choose which events to keep?

Keep the ones where your absence would actually hurt a person you love. Release the ones that are only politics and photos. Your child will not remember every cousin's party. They will remember if you were never theirs on Saturday.

More of this kind of everyday manhood is at thefilipinomen.com — that is the home of The Filipino Men.

Frequently asked questions

What about ninong duties?
If you accepted, you owe something. If you cannot afford another child to sponsor, stop saying yes.

Can I go without a gift?
Better a honest visit than a borrowed gift. Say it simply. People who need the bag more than you are keeping score.